Today is one of those many days when I've been going non-stop from the moment I opened my eyes.
My activity tracker on my Apple Watch says I'm only at 6500 steps which is BS because I feel like I haven't had any time to catch my breath. I think this thing is faulty because my Fitbit would've tracked me at at least 10K by now …
God, I miss my Fitbit.
I know I sound like I'm complaining but I also have the beginning of a man-cold… yes, you read that right. It's not a woman-cold because we work through those things like a champ without ever skipping a beat.
So, it’s definitely a man-cold. It's the kind you want to whine about and stay in bed for three weeks, even though it's just not that bad. I'm usually a badass and can fight right through but I seriously just want to lay in bed and sleep for the next month … or next year.
Like I said, I'm usually pretty badass.
I'm not bragging, but I'm a woman and well, we're all pretty badass. We do the shit that nobody else wants to or is even capable of and we do it with grace and without complaining. We're the first ones up in the morning and the last ones to bed. We eat last, we sit last, and we put everyone else first.
Every. Single. Day.
But today … today … I'm freaking tired. Two surgeries for my husband and kiddo within one month, the hustle and bustle of the holidays, laundry that never freaking ends, and a constantly full plate. I'm so exhausted that all I can think of are swear words and whiskey.
I haven't even had much time to write and I have a book due out March 1st! I should already be marketing but I haven't even finished writing it. Just between you and me, the story is still a complete a train wreck. It's all over the place and messy, just like I am right now and OMG … I'm so far behind.
I feel like I'm never going to get caught up. I'm exhausted and drowning…
Then I stop, and breathe, and remember the other people in my life who are fighting battles far more difficult than mine. I'm just overwhelmed and tired but the others…
There's the friend who has that bitch called cancer and the friend who has an adult son with a brain injury. There's the woman who was just diagnosed with breast cancer and the friend who is going through a divorce. So I stop and think about what they have to deal with everyday and suddenly my man-cold is literally nothing.
I'm humbled and finished with being whiny. I remember that there are people who have real problems and are dealing with it with true strength and beauty. I'm just being a pansy because I don't want to fold laundry.
I stop and remember that as women, we're incredibly amazing creatures. We create human being in our body and heal boo-boos simply with kisses. We scare monsters away by the sound of our voices and we give comfort just with our presence. We protect, we fight, we give, we nurture, and we heal.
I realize that doesn't mean that it's okay to human and that I'm occasionally allowed to whine. While it’s true that I'm ridiculously tired, I also realize that one day there will be less laundry to do and less people who will need me. My children will have tired wives, and children of their own, and it'll just be me, the mister, and our twenty-seven dogs.
I don't know that tomorrow will be much different than today. Tomorrow, I'll be going non-stop as well and probably the day after and the day after that. It's the life I live and the responsibilities I carry that demand so much, so often.
But I'm pretty healthy, pretty blessed, and well-loved and I honestly have nothing to complain about. I know that my life could be much harder, far more difficult, and much less rewarding.
Being tired means that I have people to care for and love. So I'll suck it up, stop whining, and remember that I'm still a badass.
Most of all, I'll remember my friends who have to fight that bitch cancer and have real battles to fight every day. I'll pray, be kind, and give them my love every chance I can. And I'll remind them that they're pretty amazing and badass too.
About the Author: Jennifer Sivec writes beautifully broken stories with heart.
She is attracted to and writes stories with characters that are complicated, flawed and completely imperfect. Her books are often a reflection of life, encompassing difficult subjects such as cancer, addiction, abandonment, and abuse. She writes with a raw, complex, yet hopeful approach often weaving tragic stories with honesty and grace, creating unforgettable characters.
Jennifer has been writing since she was in the fourth grade but didn’t publish her first novel until 2014, and has been writing non-stop since. Her passion for reading and sharing stories gives her perspective and peace of mind.
She lives in Ohio with her husband, two boys, and two dogs who create balance and levity for her. She loves her crazy life and wonderful readers, and is grateful for all of it, every day.
Whatever your nest looks like, it's the people and animals in it who make it a home. This page is dedicated to all things family: raising kids, juggling schedules, corralling pets, or navigating changing parental relationships.